But if it’s the latter, you will want to consider letting go of your concern. If your partner isn’t going to try to re-connect with his ex it might be better to get over your jealousy and focus on building a future together. If a guy is always talking about his ex, he may be confused about his feelings for you. Listen to what he says; is he always reminiscing the good times they had or worse, is he still in touch with her?

I realize this happens all the time, but I think misrepresenting one’s marital status on a dating site raises legitimate questions about a person’s veracity. The bigger issue here is not that Ben said he was divorced on OKCupid, it’s that he is in fact still married. You see, I separated from my ex two years ago, and our divorce was final about eight months later. Ben also separated from his wife two years ago (yet another thing we have in common), but neither he nor his wife filed. Ever since she left him, he’s paid for his household expenses, she’s paid for hers, and they coparent their kids without any drama. So, for all intents and purposes, it’s like they’re divorced, they just haven’t done the paperwork.

This guy may restore your faith in men simply because he is one. He knows how to communicate in a relationship, open the door for his lady, and admit when he’s wrong. He rightfully should be focused on his children, especially if they’re still healing and getting used to the post-divorce situation. Sometimes we bring our past relationships into our new relationships. On your second or third date with a new guy who’s been divorced, you naturally might ask him what happened in his marriage.

He’s all about living in the moment

Their relationship is the past, and you would prefer to focus on the present and future of your relationship with him. Of course he’s going to talk to you about her; you’re his girlfriend. Four years is a long time, especially when you’re young. She was a big part of his life, and, in how to join Milfs City one sense, always will be. People always talk about their old flames to new flames whether we really care about that boring-ass bullshit or not. It’s one of those necessary evils of a relationship, like cleaning up your girlfriend’s vomit when she drinks too much and yaks in your car.

He still talks to her…frequently

A lot of men weren’t raised with great role models or the tools needed to build healthy relationships with women. When I was at the worst point in my relationship and lacked confidence that we would last, I reached out to a relationship coach to see if they could give me any answers or insights. I’ve been there, and I know how it feels to feel insecure when someone is talking about their exes. So when something happens in their lives, good or bad, they take it as personally as if it happened to them because their emotional development is stunted. This can be something they can start to notice and start to learn from if you help point it out to them.

He is always on his phone when you are together

Whether or not you decide to use this tool, I suggest you read the rest of this guide so you can understand why men talk about their exes. Even if he’s mad at you he’ll still do things that show he cares about you. He might ignore you but he won’t cut you off completely or treat you badly.

If there’s anger attached to it, that can also be very telling. If you bring up your partner’s ex and they snap at you, they may still be hurting over how things ended. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner wants to get back with them. “It’s natural for it to bother you, but just know that it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed or that your partner doesn’t want to be with you,” Wilson says. “It’s just part of being human.” They might just need more time to heal. So, how can you tell if your partner still isn’t over their ex?

Sometimes, we women can overstate the damage that a broken relationship can do. One of my good friends broke up with someone he had been in a 3-year relationship with. Sure, early on you may not expect him to want your advice on those things, but there will probably come a point where you do, and if he’s used to going to her, you’re always going to be second rate. If everything he sees or does makes him think of her or things he and her used to do, run!

When you’re in a relationship with someone, you should want to share your whole world with them — and old friends are a big part of that. However, Walsh noted that a guy who’s still stuck on his ex might try to keep you from going to events or seeing people who also know his ex. It’s normal to be sad about a breakup, but not after you’re in another relationship. Trombetti says that your guy may not still be in love with his ex, but if he continues to act depressed about what went down between them, then he hasn’t put it behind him.

If you notice that your boyfriend is resentful toward his past relationships, it’s important to know that you can’t fix those feelings. Which is one reason why your ex-boyfriend might not be talking to you anymore since he doesn’t want to raise any red flags for his wife and look like he’s up to something. You can have a straight talk with your boyfriend about how you feel. Then look inwards at your own relationship and why he is still feeling attached to his ex despite being with you. But if he is still in love with his ex it’s best to move on because this way a relationship can’t work out.